For a long time, Chris and I have been talking about getting another dog. Getting a playmate for Rumble would make all of us happy a lot of the time, but also make my life (and commute with 2 dogs) a lot harder, so needless to say we are still a 1 dog family.
Anyway, now that I’ve finished my laughing fit, I need to relate what brought on that bought of happiness. Although I forget what started it, it basically involved my suggesting a name for the hypothetical new dog.
One of the qualities of a pet name, or given the odd names for children (Apple for example) these days – kids, is what I call the field test. Imagine yourself having to call for your dog (or child) across an open field full of families and children. How would it sound to innocent bystanders.
My suggested name for the new dog:
Bitches. But said with a slight ghetto twang to it. You know, like a peeimp (pimp ya know).
It goes downhill from there as I start running the field test on it and was entirely amused by the result.
- “Bitches, come bitches, come.”
- “Bitches want a cookie?”
- “High five Bitches.”
- “Shake Bitches.”
- “I slept with Bitches last night.”
- “Hi, ABC Dog Training? I’d like to register Bitches for puppy class… Hello?”
- “Don’t poop on the rug!!! Bad Bitches, bad!”
I know, about 1/2 of you are SO FURIOUS with me right now for something. I don’t care. For 10 minutes, Chris and I were in hysterics over it. It wasn’t malicious, it was just entertaining. It was even better than my 30 minutes of bad puns about the fastener store.
Fuck you, Ty Pennington.