I wanna be Apple’s lawyer

Over the past few weeks, there’ve been several lawsuits filed again Apple Corp which are no doubt keeping their lawyer’s busy.

I’m sure the boys over at Dewey, Cheatham and Howe keep busy every day finding new and more intriguing ways of writing evil things into EULA’s, Privacy Policies and going after copyright infringement, but fighting off a variety of incoming suits must keep them busy.

Everyone wants a bite of the Apple. They’re one of the biggest, most prominent companies still making money in today’s economy. They seem to be able to do no wrong that way. Everything with the Apple logo on it has turned to gold lately, which makes them a target.

The lawsuit that was disclosed today makes no sense, and is just one of the dozens of frivolous ones they (and many others) contend with every year.

AppleInsider.com is reporting that Apple is being sued by a guy who’s clearly after nothing more than money.

Apple is the defendant in two recent, offbeat lawsuits, including one filed by an artist who alleges he invented and named the iPod and iPhone in the 1980s, only to have Apple and actress Sarah Jessica Parker steal his trade secrets.

In meeting these people, Wakefield alleges he was asked by the congressman to disclose his “trade secrets” to the FBI, including the concept of the iPod, iTunes, and the iPhone, the last of which he allegedly specifically named nearly 20 years prior to its debut.

Yep. Wakefield claims to have invented the iPod and iTunes nearly before the internet came into existence, prior to the MP3 being developed and other insanity.

The next suit mentioned in the AppleInsider report talks about someone suing Apple because Lil’ Wayne (stupidest name ever) may have used a concept in one of his songs.

They then go on to mention how Apple was also sued for being connected to the Mafia.

I figure if Apple IS connected to the Mafia (and I have no specific knowledge for or against this), then these lawsuits should quietly disappear.