Get off my lawn!

So, after another fantastic weekend in Vancouver, with much time spent out doors, enjoying the company of friends and family (furry too), I’ve come to a sad realization.

I’m going to be the crotchety old man on the block yelling “Get off mylawn you damn kids!” and waving my cane from my rocker on my porch.

I’m a patient guy, as most people who know me will attest. But since I’m not a saint, I do have my limits. Idiots of any stripe, smokers, drunken assholes, trashy women, pot heads etc. The usual complaints irritate me. But add to the list pretty much anyone who is inconsiderate of others.

This includes (but is not limited to):

  • People who don’t leash their dog in public
  • People who leash their dog but think a 30 foot extend-a-lead is appropriate in all cases
  • People who don’t clean up after their dog shits in public
  • People who stand right outside building entrances and smoke
  • People who congregate along a sidewalk and smoke
  • People who smoke
  • Asshats with their car alarm sensitivity turned up so high that someone sneezing sets it off
  • Asshats with their car alarm sensitivity turned up so high that a car passing sets it off
  • Asshats who are not within hearing distance of their car alarm for 3 hours while it goes off. What’s the point of having an alarm if you’re not listening to/for it?
  • People who think any flat surface is good for skateboarding
  • People who think any flat surface is good for bike riding
  • People who go grocery shopping and somehow think that driving a shopping cart isn’t at all like driving
  • People who go grocery shopping and think that driving a shopping cart is like the demolition derby
  • People who take their kids shopping and think that the store is a playground or daycare center
  • Store employees who think their job is just to take money
  • Employees who think their job doesn’t require them to work

I’m sure there’s about 100 more, and Chris has about 1000 more, but like I said – I’m fairly patient with people.

Just stay off my lawn.