Ouch, Ouch Ouch OuchOuchOUCHOUCH!

Ok, so maybe it’s not that bad.

Today was B-Day. At 9:15 this morning, I began the torture known as BRACES, aka orthodontia.

When I was a young lad, I had the wire contraptions that are typically used to torture teenagers. And after that came the retainer. Which then disappeared quickly. I don’t remember what happened but apparently that little retainer is the key to making braces work. Once you’ve moved everything, you need to KEEP it there. Who knew?

So now, at the ripe-old age of 40, I’ve got braces. This time there’s a difference. No train-tracks for me. This time, I’ve got the high-tech Invis-Align system. Oooh. Aaaah. Revel in their high-tech ability to induce pain.

This morning a wonderful woman named Judy spent 2 hours applying “attachments” to my teeth. More than usual. Nobody mentioned that part before. So now I have these clear little studs on selected teeth on the outside and inside. The clear braces attach to these to keep everything happy. That didn’t hurt, but for 2 hours they fiddled in my mouth.

Then come the braces. They’re cool. I’ll post a picture soon. Invis-Align knows their stuff. but they hurt like the dickens when you put them on! From instant one they relentlessly torque, push, pull and twist your teeth to their will. For 22 hours a day!

They say the first 48 hours are the most critical and the most painful. God I hope so. Stayed tuned for tomorrow’s update.