Category Archives: TV & Movies

Movie Review: Source Code

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Source Code movie reviewLast year, when Source Code came out I thought it was an interesting premise. The military had developed a program to allow a person to re-live the last 8 minutes of someone’s life.

Of course, being a movie it’s not quite as easy as it sounds.

Captain Colter Stephen’s (Jake Gyllenhaal) is the lucky soldier to be sent back to determine who blew up a commuter train heading into Chicago, and the cargo train next to it. He does this by becoming Sean, a teacher on the train. Sean is travelling with Christina (Michelle Monaghan), a co-worker, and of course being the woman he’s closest to, they fall in love. It was her or his handler in the Beleaguered Castle program.

So, for 8 minutes at a time, using a computer reconstruction of the events, Colter can go back and re-live it. Not just relive it, but do whatever he wants within the timeline. Some computer program right? In the real world, Sean sat in his seat on the train and didn’t move. In the project, Colter runs around the train, finds things hidden and even leaves the train and interracts with people the real Sean never did and couldn’t have.

And yet, they are all taken as “real” by the military. Intel gained in the sim is verified in the real world. If the computer sim had all this knowledge, why didn’t someone just ask it? “Computer? Hello, Computer? Where’s the bomb and who did this?”

Of course, there’s no love story then. Nor the shocking surprise about Capt. Stephens.

Cool fact – Colter’s dad is voiced by the venerable and popular Scott Bakula.

So – overall, I’m gonna have to give it a 2 / 5 stars. There’s nothing new or exciting here. The ongoing deaths of Christina and Colter on the train are very well shot, but that’s about the most redeeming quality. Even the usually charming and handsome Jake seems wasted in this movie. Vera Farmiga as the handler (Colleen Goodwin) is even more wasted.

Yet another movie with a decent premise, wasted by poor writing and direction.

 

Movie Review: Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

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Dylan Dog: Dead of Night is a movie Chris and I wanted to catch in a theatre, but a) the timing didn’t work and b) it probably wasn’t worth $30 to do.

Turns out, it’s not a terrible movie.

So, a while ago Dylan (Brandon Routh)’s fiance Cassandra was killed by a group of Vampires. And he got out of the business of working for the undead. Oh yeah, New Orleans is an undead haven apparently.

Since then, he’s been a legit P.I. doing divorce cases and other stuff with his assistant Marcus (Sam Huntington). So, importer gets killed, they take the case, turns out it’s supernatural (Werewolf) and then Marcus becomes a zombie. And a whiny one at that.

Dylan and the importer’s daughter are hot on the case of the vampires, no – werewolves, no- ghouls?, no wait – yes, vampires, I think, who did this. With things like a “body shop” where zombies buy replacement parts and vampires who sell their blood to make people strong etc (True Blood anyone).

Turns out things aren’t what they seem and in the end, a giant monster is born to destroy all of the undead. And of course must be stopped.

This is about the only New Orleans based movie where not a single New Orleans/Cajun accent is heard. At all.

Overall, I’d give this one a 3.5 / 5 stars.

Movie Review: Beastly

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Beastly movie posterSaturdays during July are a bit of “Jeff Day” – well, “Jeff & Rumble Day” since Chris is working. This means I can do just about anything I want, which includes doing nothing.

I usually spend most of the day working on WordPress plugins and playing with the dog.

While working, I often put on a movie and this Saturday was no exception. I decided to pull up our copy of Beastly from the hard-drive and give it a spin.

I’d watched “I Am Number 4″ a few weeks ago and found it not too bad, and I liked Alex Pettyfer enough to give this a whirl. He looks pretty damn fine with his shirt off.

Beastly is a modern retelling of the classic Beauty & The Beast story where a man (always) is a rude obnoxious jerk and needs to be taught a lesson. In this case, Alex Pettyfer is Kyle, a spoiled rich kid with an obnoxious jerk of a dad (Peter Krause) who thinks that good looks and power go hand in hand and everyone else needs to “embrace the suck.”

That is until he goes one step too far and pisses off a witch – eerily well played by Mary Kate Olsen, and is cursed to spend 1 full year trying to find someone to say “I love you” to him. His curse is measured by the tree tattoo on his wrist that will bloom again in exactly one year.

He’s helped along his quest by 2 faithful sidekicks: Lumiere & Cogsworth. Oops, wrong movie. I mean Zola and Will, played by Lisa Gay Hamilton and Neil Patrick Harris (hilarious). Both of whom still love him and see him as a good person, despite him being rude to both.

Oh yeah, the girl. Vanessa Hudgens, best known for a lot of High School Musicals, plays Lindy on whom Kyle has a crush. I don’t know why. But he does, and it’s her he chooses to make say “I love you.”

It’s not easy, time runs out, he has to learn to love himself first, then there’s the father thing, tattoo blooming. “I love you” and happily ever after.

What? You thought it might end with him being a monster? Not likely.

Overall, I generally liked this, but they followed the Disney story to closely, and the ending seemed rushed. I also didn’t buy Kyle’s character development. Bleh.

3.5 / 5 stars from me.

Did you see it? Tell me what you thought in the comments.

Ok, now what?

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So, I’m running out of television already.

I’m caught up on True Blood, so I’m stuck waiting for the weeklies like everyone else. And with Sookie and the boys in such a state, I can hardly manage. I’m also caught up on Hoarders, and the last episode was a cop-out where are they now episode.

We’re giving up on Burn “The A-Team” Notice, and Lever-”The A-Team”-age.

So here I am. I can’t do re-runs. Well, some shows (Big Bang Theory) tend to hold up, but most of the time they just bore me. “Yeah, I remember the joke” or “This guy got arrested last time too.”

And apparently the world of torrents is void of HGTV programs. Don’t ask me what it offered when I searched for House Hunters! (Hint: Lesbian House Hunters) – which is not the same at all.

I discovered a missing half season of Hoarders. That helps, but 6 episodes only last so long.

Guilty Pleasures

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So I think I’ve mentioned before that I have a few “Guilty Pleasures” when it comes to TV, and I’m not afraid to admit them. Partly because I’ve already revealed them. Examples:

  1. Almost anything HTGV.ca (real estate shows mostly, but also design) – Like Million Dollar Listings and House Hunters
  2. COPS – Yep. Trashy
  3. Judge Joe Brown & Peoples Court – Yep. Trashier
  4. Canada’s Worst Handyman/Driver
  5. Hoarders / Hoarding: Buried Alive – These are new, but I’ve gone through all 3 seasons of the former
  6. Paranormal shows. These are low, low on the list, but I have watched Ghost Hunters and kin a few times and find it fascinating how silly they are.

In fact, it’s “How silly they are” that draws me to some of the worst shows I watch. I find them entertaining, and there’s life lessons. Seriously. Watch COPS once or twice and tell me it’s not a cautionary tale about staying in school and doing well.

Mostly, I “like” them for the simple “brain in neutral” pleasure of them. I don’t have to think, follow any characters or narrative, choose who to cheer for or anything. Just sit back and relax.

I’m still waiting for the COPS / Judge Joe Brown cross-over you know is coming.