Just to counterbalance the uplifting story of Steve Grand, I’m now going to the far other end of the extreme – possibly of the universe. Yes, the new horror (in many ways) from SyFy – I’m talking Sharknado.
Long ago, the network soon to be known as SyWhy, produced some decent if not good quality content. Ok, I can’t name a single one. It was before when they were The Sci-Fi Channel or something. People used to respect them for picking up their favorite sci-fi shows the networks wouldn’t hold onto.
Then they discovered original programming and everything went to hell. Check out this list on Wikipedia and see how many of their movies you’ve seen. If you get past 3 you should probably assume you’ll love Sharknado and move on to the rest of the internet.
If you’re still with this, let’s run down the list of “stars” and see who needed a new pool this week. Ian (Remember – eye-an) Ziering, Tara (Tar-uh) Reid and John Heard (Heard). Between them they’ve got 240 credits in IMDB. Including the original Beverly Hills 90210! I mean, come on, what’s not to love.
The premise here is simple. Somewhere, somehow a bunch of sharks are swept up into a tornado (or several, this is unclear in the trailer) and then, with pinpoint accuracy never before seen from a tornado (because it’s now a sharknado) the sharks are hurled at the city of Los Angeles. Yup. Los Angeles. Probably because Ziering didn’t get paid enough to leave home.
We are then shown amazing feats of bravery like cutting a shark with a chainsaw, throwing bombs at tornados from helicopters and sharks (having been out of water in a near vacuum for quite a while) flying through apartment windows with their jaws (ha!) chopping and eating people.
I know right – AWESOME. I’m just glad the tornado didn’t catch the Sharktopus. Errr. I need to write a script. In the meantime, enjoy the trailer.
Oh, and Sharknado aired last night, so if your friends are missing, they’re probably at home sick. Or scared. I’d say that SyFy jumped the shark, but they’d make that into a movie somehow.
Summer is in full swing in Vancouver. I can tell because the dog and I melt walking to work in the morning.
While wrapping presents and enjoying my holiday saturday, I turned on History Channel, which was showing William Shatner’s “Weird or What?” as you’d expect from the HISTORY Channel or APTN (don’t get me started).
This particular episode was about monsters. I got there just in time to hear about The Mothman. I also heard about “globsters” and the MonkeyMan in New Delhi. The MonkeyMan was a real phenomenon that happened in New Delhi in 2001 for a few weeks. I’d never heard of it.
Did you know that the Loch Ness Monster was first “seen” in 545 A.D. ? That’s a long, long time ago. Like before the picture of the elephant was hoaxed. It’s amazing how long some stories endure. Stories about Nessie are now 1500 years old and going strong. Millions of dollars in research and tourism won’t let it die.
So – where was I. Right. I’m a fan of cryptozoology. I don’t believe in ever monster reported out there but I believe in the concept.
Are there things on Earth that have yet to be discovered? Yup, I have no doubt of it. Mother Nature likes to keep us on our toes. Does the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot/Yeti/Sasquatch, New Jersey Devil, Chupacabra or Ogopogo exist? I have no idea. But I like to keep my mind open the possibility that I don’t know everything. Some people tell me this frequently.
It’s interesting that I believe in the possibility of these things, like I believe in aliens, but I don’t believe in G/g/od(s).
Aliens – let’s be clear, I believe that life exists elsewhere in the universe. I don’t believe that the greys are coming to get me while I sleep. I will not likely “lose time” or get probed in an unpleasant way. I don’t believe we have been visited or that aliens built the pyramids. Could they have? Sure. I suppose.
G/g/od(s) – if you know me, you’ve probably heard this. Gods are, and always have been, a nice construct to keep men in line (women too, gotta watch out for them) without having to appoint hundreds of watchers. They’re also convenient scapegoats for explaining things we can’t or don’t want to. I could go on, but I start to sound like a bitter old crackpot. Which I’m not. Yet.
Let’s round out this little group with the paranormal. Ghosts, banshees, poltergeists etc. Nope. I don’t believe in those. Yes, strange shit happens in certain places somewhat more frequently than you’d like. But really, if you look it tends to be a lot like UFO sightings. Once you’ve had 2 or 3, more people show up. More people = more stories/reports. It’s the group effect. Plus people who go looking are more inclined to believe, and often want to be included.
Is there an odd line in there? Monsters & aliens (physical beings) might exist, gods & ghosts (non-physical) don’t exist. Huh. That was easy.
Now I just have to figure out why the dog is floating over his bed and I can get on with Christmas.