While wrapping presents and enjoying my holiday saturday, I turned on History Channel, which was showing William Shatner’s “Weird or What?” as you’d expect from the HISTORY Channel or APTN (don’t get me started).
This particular episode was about monsters. I got there just in time to hear about The Mothman. I also heard about “globsters” and the MonkeyMan in New Delhi. The MonkeyMan was a real phenomenon that happened in New Delhi in 2001 for a few weeks. I’d never heard of it.
Did you know that the Loch Ness Monster was first “seen” in 545 A.D. ? That’s a long, long time ago. Like before the picture of the elephant was hoaxed. It’s amazing how long some stories endure. Stories about Nessie are now 1500 years old and going strong. Millions of dollars in research and tourism won’t let it die.
So – where was I. Right. I’m a fan of cryptozoology. I don’t believe in ever monster reported out there but I believe in the concept.
Are there things on Earth that have yet to be discovered? Yup, I have no doubt of it. Mother Nature likes to keep us on our toes. Does the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot/Yeti/Sasquatch, New Jersey Devil, Chupacabra or Ogopogo exist? I have no idea. But I like to keep my mind open the possibility that I don’t know everything. Some people tell me this frequently.
It’s interesting that I believe in the possibility of these things, like I believe in aliens, but I don’t believe in G/g/od(s).
Aliens – let’s be clear, I believe that life exists elsewhere in the universe. I don’t believe that the greys are coming to get me while I sleep. I will not likely “lose time” or get probed in an unpleasant way. I don’t believe we have been visited or that aliens built the pyramids. Could they have? Sure. I suppose.
G/g/od(s) – if you know me, you’ve probably heard this. Gods are, and always have been, a nice construct to keep men in line (women too, gotta watch out for them) without having to appoint hundreds of watchers. They’re also convenient scapegoats for explaining things we can’t or don’t want to. I could go on, but I start to sound like a bitter old crackpot. Which I’m not. Yet.
Let’s round out this little group with the paranormal. Ghosts, banshees, poltergeists etc. Nope. I don’t believe in those. Yes, strange shit happens in certain places somewhat more frequently than you’d like. But really, if you look it tends to be a lot like UFO sightings. Once you’ve had 2 or 3, more people show up. More people = more stories/reports. It’s the group effect. Plus people who go looking are more inclined to believe, and often want to be included.
Is there an odd line in there? Monsters & aliens (physical beings) might exist, gods & ghosts (non-physical) don’t exist. Huh. That was easy.
Now I just have to figure out why the dog is floating over his bed and I can get on with Christmas.
Jesus has returned, and is apparently working as an evangelist of BellSouth. Or whatever. I love the headline Gizmodo used:
Telephone pole Jesus Died For Your Landline Abandoning Sins.
Which could be true today. Chris and I haven’t had a landline in over 3 years, and several of our friends have given theirs up too. Why bother?
Anybody who knows me knows I’m not a religious guy so my celebration of a dramatically Christian event may be surprising.
Stick with me.
It’s all about the chocolate and bunnies. Bunnies are cute, chocolate is delicious, and zombies are cool.
Stick with me.
Easter is all about Jesus’ miraculous rise from the dead, right? Just like a zombie! Think about that for a minute.
So, at some point, the kids over at ThinkGeek created an April Fools prank featuring a chocolate zombie easter bunny (Or is it zombie chocolate easter bunny?) And people went NUTS for it. So, flash to today and after everyone clamoring for it, someone made the prank into a real product.
And yes, I’m fairly certain I’m going to hell. Not just for this post.