Monthly Archives: April 2009

Of Birthdays and Cell Phones

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Wednesday this week marked Chris’s 35th 26th birthday (9th time) and it led to a series of unusual events.

Here are the highlights as I see them.

  1. He posted on his blog about his life lessons this far, and in typical Chris fashion it was enlightening and very entertaining.
  2. I remembered to get him a very nice card and write something nice. That’s something I have missed a few times.
  3. Rumble ate Chris’s phone. Well, not actually “ate the phone” but nibbled on, pretty much wrecking the keypad.
  4. I went through instant contact withdrawal Thursday morning not being able to text-message Chris and hear back from him instantly.
  5. Chris bought a new Samsung Jack PDA/Cellphone. Nice phone. Chris hated it.
  6. I got Friday off but Chris had to work. Chris busted his ass getting to work (10 minutes late) since the Skytrain started running AFTER he was supposed to be there.
  7. Chris DIDN’T have to work Friday after all. So he got up at 6am for no reason.
  8. I went to meet Chris, keep him company until the mall opened so he could return his phone and we could go grocery shopping.
  9. Chris bought a cheap-ass Samsung phone with next to no features and a display only a grandmother could love. It was crap, but cheap.
  10. Chris, Rumble and I trucked back downtown and returned the cheap Samsung.
  11. Chris bought a better Samsung Gravity (That’s phone number 3) and now seems reasonably happy with it although he is still in mourning for his pretty Sony Ericsson camera (that made phone calls).
  12. I still have the same phone I’ve had for nearly 2 years. Yeah, I need to work on that.

So far that’s all. And Chris has sworn that he’s not changing his phone again anytime soon. The phone company must hate all of the changes that Chris has made. Although he’s downgraded his plan to one that suits him better, so we save some money every month. Always a good idea.

Get off my lawn!

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So, after another fantastic weekend in Vancouver, with much time spent out doors, enjoying the company of friends and family (furry too), I’ve come to a sad realization.

I’m going to be the crotchety old man on the block yelling “Get off mylawn you damn kids!” and waving my cane from my rocker on my porch.

I’m a patient guy, as most people who know me will attest. But since I’m not a saint, I do have my limits. Idiots of any stripe, smokers, drunken assholes, trashy women, pot heads etc. The usual complaints irritate me. But add to the list pretty much anyone who is inconsiderate of others.

This includes (but is not limited to):

  • People who don’t leash their dog in public
  • People who leash their dog but think a 30 foot extend-a-lead is appropriate in all cases
  • People who don’t clean up after their dog shits in public
  • People who stand right outside building entrances and smoke
  • People who congregate along a sidewalk and smoke
  • People who smoke
  • Asshats with their car alarm sensitivity turned up so high that someone sneezing sets it off
  • Asshats with their car alarm sensitivity turned up so high that a car passing sets it off
  • Asshats who are not within hearing distance of their car alarm for 3 hours while it goes off. What’s the point of having an alarm if you’re not listening to/for it?
  • People who think any flat surface is good for skateboarding
  • People who think any flat surface is good for bike riding
  • People who go grocery shopping and somehow think that driving a shopping cart isn’t at all like driving
  • People who go grocery shopping and think that driving a shopping cart is like the demolition derby
  • People who take their kids shopping and think that the store is a playground or daycare center
  • Store employees who think their job is just to take money
  • Employees who think their job doesn’t require them to work

I’m sure there’s about 100 more, and Chris has about 1000 more, but like I said – I’m fairly patient with people.

Just stay off my lawn.

Some people are nice

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There is a corollary to that, but we’ll get there soon enough.

Today was another gorgous spring day in Vancouver and Chris and I took full advantage. Despite Chris’s broken hip damaged hamstring from working out fighting a bear, we performed yet another epic hike around downtown looking to see what was what. This after a suitable breakfast at Tim Horton’s and an hour long story-time at Chapters.

This time, for the first time in a while, we ventured down along Robson Street to see what was happening. The first thing we learned was that the Gap’s cargo pants Chris likes are $5.00 cheaper on Robson than at Metrotown. Huh.

As usual, we were reminded that there are a disproportionate number of idiots out on any given day, especially a sunny Saturday morning. Some of these idiots fall into the class my brother introduced me to… the touron. The short explanation involves boats or planes, still or video camera, gawking or pointing and general insanity.

Another class we simply refer to as “Die cancer-ass-face, die, die, die.” They’re the ones who wander slowly along with a smoke hanging out of their face (or in their hand), a cell phone and a coffee, casually waving their cancer-stick around in a somewhat silly attempt to kill everyone, while not doing themselves any harm. They always manage to get just ahead of you and walk just fast enough to stay there. They also tend to swarm at crosswalks.

There’s also the mob. I’m not talking about Tony Soprano meets the Yakuza type mob, or Vancouver’s own Bacon Brothers (not the band), I’m talking the group of 3-10 people travelling in a pack down the sidewalk, and managing to take up the entire width of it while behaving somewhat like a swarm of birds. They mill around inside the mob and present tiny microscopic changes in size open just long enough to fool those trapped behind them into thinking it might be possible to pass. Then, for no discernable reason, they swarm back to other way and close the opening, while still maintaining full use of the entire sidewalk.

As we said before though, some people are nice. Having made the mistake of buying a $4 cup of tea from Blenz (in a flurry of tea-choice indecision), Chris needed a replacement green tea and I offered to throw myself upon the Starbucks sword and get him his favored Zen Green tea from the nice new Starbucks at Robson and Denman (Nancy-Ann, Bojangles is gone). It’s very nice inside, and the wonderful 12 year old barista was super nice and friendly and sweet about letting Chris use the bathroom before she knew we were going to buy anything. But in her niceness she gave Chris China Green Tips, not Zen Green tea. Strike 2 for tea.

We swung into Doggie Style Deli or whatever it’s called on Denman Street where Chris engaged the nice woman in conversation about a new bag for Rumble. She was nice, extolled the virtues of their current selection of bags, and then to seal her place in todays “nice” category, gave us 2 tiny little freshly prepared piece of dog treat for Rumble (who wasn’t even with us). One was turkey something, the other was liver. He loved them but looked vaguely confused when he got those instead of his usual cookies.

There were other nice people today (the folks at Timmies, the folks at Little Sisters, Fat Burger, lots of random strangers) but some stood out.

Oh, and Chris. Chris is nice too!

Hooray for Sweden!

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News today is that Sweden has voted in favor of legalizing same-sex marriages beginning May 1.

This shouldn’t come as a major surprise to many because those Northern Euros seem to be pretty progressive, and overly comfortable with the same-sex-sex.

Regardless, on behalf of the ‘mo community elsewhere, congrats and good on you.

I am available to attend any weddings you wish to fly me to.

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