Quite a while back I developed a theory about a certain kind of person that I think we all know. I call them “The Attractors” and it’s not meant in a good way.

Do you know someone who (mostly bad) things always seem to happen to? One week their cat is run over, the next their car gets hit, then they break a leg, they get dumped, get a flat tire… One thing after another?

Yeah – they’re probably an attractor. I can sometimes tell an attractor right away because they’re in the middle of attracting: “Oh man, my car started smoking. I don’t know if it’ll last.” but sometimes they can be tricky to spot. Some attractors are quick to share the details of their life and tell you all about their issues. Others keep fairly quiet, making them harder to spot.

The more difficult variety may sprinkle a liberal amount of good things into their stories. They may be jovial, friendly and exude “good times” until you start to really pay attention. Then you’ll spot the signs. They exhibit the signs of being genuinely happy (and even may be happy) but their calamities keep piling up. Just because Bertha at the office bakes the best cakes, loves her cats and knits everyone a toque for their Christmas present, look a little deeper.

You: Hi Bertha! Great to see you! How are you doing?

Bertha: Hey you! I’m awesome. Shucks, thanks for asking. I had a fantastic weekend, but Bernie died on Saturday night. He was old and is in a better place. I was taking Cookie to the vet on Sunday, and gosh darn it if my car didn’t break down at the top of the on-ramp! Lordy what a back up mess I made!

You: Golly Bertha, that sounds terrible. I’m so sorry.

Bertha: Hey, I just made these brownies, would you like one?

You: I love brownies, sure, thanks.

Bertha: Yeah, me too. I was going to make some fudge, but after the fridge stopped working, I couldn’t do much. I spent the rest of the day in the hospital having my toe put back on.

You: What!? OMG! Bertha, you poor thing.

At first, you just think Bertha had a bad weekend, but then you start to think harder. Didn’t her aunt die last month? Did she tell you she was getting audited? What about the slip-and-fall at The Gap? The list goes on.

Bertha is – an attractor. I always stay on the look out for these folks because not only do they seem to attract chaos & darkness, they can attract people like you and me (assuming you’re not an attractor) and never let us go! We get sucked in along with everyone and everything else, with no hope of escaping their vortex.

Don’t get me wrong. These are NOT BAD PEOPLE. They’re often good people, to whom bad things happen WAY more often than the norm.

Consider yourself warned.